Breaking Away From Monogamy

No, no… this post is not (necessarily) about non-monogamy. It’s, in fact, a celebration of October, sex, and one of our amazing partners: Breaking Away From Monogamy! Over the summer our team discovered an excellent sex-health blog written by K Ghislaine, a woman who was exploring the world of non-monogamous relationships (open relationships, i.e. you can “see” others without cheating). But her posts have cascaded into an array of relationship and sexual health thoughts – from pregnancy, to sex toy reviews, to beautifully assembled poems – it’s a treasure trove of insights that are, quite frankly, really eloquently written (far better use of the English language than our blog). K has been known to celebrate October with a #30DaysSexPositive challenge, which she revived this year! We’ve been loving the posts so far, and wanted to invite our readers to join in with the fun. We’re going to share K’s first week’s prompts, and encourage you to follow along on her socials: X (formerly Twitter), Bluesky, Instagram, and Patreon.

Day 1: What is the first word that comes to your mind when you read the word SEX?

For me, it’s “Pleasure”! Those feel-good chemicals that release throughout (and hopefully with a climax at the end of it all… or multiple). It would be amazing to see a word cloud of all the different words people associate with sex. I’ve tried looking and can’t find a data-backed word cloud – maybe it’s something we’ll do ourselves one day! Actually… come to think of it… we’ll start doing it now and add a picture below once we get enough answers.

Day 2: Do you like your sex life? If not, what’s missing?

Well, what a perfect place for a shameless plug… if something is missing, our sex quiz might help you introduce it into your sex life. Nonetheless, we digress. Our data shows us that in every single relationship, both partners would like to add something new to the bedroom. No couple has (yet) been 100% satisfied with their sex life. Some are happy, but wouldn’t mind this or that. Some, on the other hand, believe if things don’t change, then the relationship will be as good as over. From wanting sex more often, to wanting to invite toys into the bedroom, what do you wish you could bring into the bedroom? And is it something we could help you with?

Day 3: What makes you feel sexy?

Let’s face it – feeling sexually wanted is the sexiest you could ever feel. To see your partner’s jaw drop and watch as they forget everything else in life. They become fixated on you (in a good way, obviously). Now THAT feels sexy! But it’s not the only thing. The clothes you wear, the way you’re spoken to, and the way you’re looked at can all make you feel extremely sexy. We go into quite a lot of detail in the quiz on what your partner can do more (or less) of to make you feel lustfully desired.

Day 4: What do you find sexy in a partner?

I know my answer (and I’m not going to share it)! You’d think it would be abs, boobs, butts, but we’re increasingly finding couples describing their favourite features of their partner as smiles, kind eyes, and softness.

Day 5: Stand in front of your mirror and tell yourself that you are SEXY!

Affirmations are increasingly becoming a powerful tool for positivity and increased happiness in people’s lives. You may or may not already do them, but in any case, adding this one to your repertoire might boost your confidence in the bedroom, and lead to both you and your partner having more fulfilling sex lives!

Day 6: Do you have someone that you feel comfortable talking about your sex life with?

We recently launched our Talking About Sex category, and we’re already seeing that the person you feel comfortable talking about sex with is not always your partner. In some cases, it’s no one. Sex is sadly one of those topics that people judge, which is why finding a judge-less person to talk to about it is really hard. If you need someone to talk to though, there are numerous phone lines you can call with an expert listener on the other end. Here are a few key lines for readers in the countries where we get the most traffic from:

In the UK

There’s the National Sexual Health Helpline on 0300 123 7123

In the USA

Try the Reproductive Health Hotline (aka ReproHH) on 1-844-737-7644

In Canada

It’s the Action Canada for Sexual Health and Rights Access Line (what a mouth full) on 1-888-642-2725

In Australia

There are different lines depending on what you need: 1800 RESPECT for assault and violence on 1800 737 732, Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800, Men’s Referral Service on 1300 766 491, and QLife for the LGBTIQ+ support on 1800 184 527

In Germany

You could try TelefonSeelsorge which deals with a wider range of counselling on 0800 111 0111 (if you’re protestant), or on 0800 111 0222 (if you’re Catholic)

Day 7: What do you wish you knew about sex at a younger age?

Sexual education is piss poor… in most countries! I missed out in mine, because I changed schools around the age when it’s covered, and my first school was going to cover it the following year, but the one I moved to had already covered it when I joined. What about you? Do you feel your sex-ed was good enough?

The Next 27 Days...

K’s been sharing thought-provoking sex questions every day since October 1st, and she’ll continue to do so until the end of the month. Go and follow her journey (both the 30 days of sexual positivity as well as her other content) either on her blog Breaking Away From Monogamy, or on her socials: X, Bluesky, Instagram, or Patreon!