UK to Ban Choking Porn: What It Means for Your Kinks

So the UK government just decided to criminalise any porn depicting "non-fatal strangulation, suffocation, or choking". Is this censorship? Or is it a necessary step against normalising violence? For couples exploring kinks, intimacy, or even couples that are just curious about their sexual boundaries, these changes raise intriguing questions: How do we understand consent? When is a fantasy safe, and when is it dangerous? And how do you explore desires (like choking) with your partner responsibly?

What Is the UK Planning to Ban? And Why?

Under amendments to the Crime and Policing Bill, the UK government intends to make it illegal to possess, distribute, or publish pornography that depicts strangulation, choking, or suffocation for sexual arousal. This follows recommendations from the Independent Porn Review, chaired by Baroness Gabby Bertin, which argued that such acts have been normalised in porn as though they are safe. Porn platforms would be legally required to block this content for UK users, or face substantial fines (and let's face it, no one wants to give the UK government even MORE money). The government frames this move as part of its broader “Plan for Change” to reduce violence against women and girls. And that's something I hope we can all get behind... violence against anyone is unacceptable, especially when it's sexual!

Why Now Though?

1. Normalisation & imitation risk. The Porn Review found that porn has contributed to making choking appear like a standard part of “hot sex,” which can push audiences to try it in their real lives without understanding the risks. Very real risks that lead to injury, and in very unfortunate cases... death. This is why we're so hot on SAFE BDSM in our quiz! 2. Health dangers. Medical and forensic research shows that even brief strangulation can cause brain injury, fractures, unconsciousness, and mental health harm. 3. Protection of women and minors. Campaigners argue that choking is a tool of control and abuse in intimate partner violence, and its normalisation can harm vulnerable people. Though it should be noted that people of all genders can be affected, and despite the government's positioning, we would invite them to update their wording. 4. Alignment with existing laws. The UK already criminalises non-fatal strangulation as part of the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, which technically means it is illegal to even sexily choke your partner during sex. But is this good enough justification? After all... choking, and violence in much much worse ways is "depicted" in just about every movie now.

The Controversy: Censorship, Morality, and the Wrongful Policing of Desire

The proposed UK choking porn ban doesn’t just touch nerves, it slices through some of the most contested issues in sex nowadays: censorship, bodily autonomy, and the state’s right to police fantasy. While the government insists this is about protecting women from violent sexual norms, it also pathologises kink and criminalises fantasy rather than violence itself, which is already criminalised.

“Protecting Women” or Controlling Sexuality?

Supporters of the ban say it is an extension of laws against non-fatal choking, a necessary step to stop porn from inviting men to choke women during sex. But others argue that’s an oversimplification that bypasses nuance and consent. If two adults choose to act out choking or rough sex within a negotiated, safe context - is that violence? Or is it erotic power exchange? And if a performer is paid, protected, AND consenting... should the government have the power to decide that their expression is too dangerous to view? The question many are asking: Is it really about protecting women, or is it actually about sanitising sex?

The Slippery Slope of "Extreme"

What counts as “extreme” has always been elastic in UK porn law. In 2009, the “extreme pornography” statute was introduced after the notorious “moors murders” panic — and was quickly criticised for criminalising consensual BDSM. Couples who filmed themselves spanking or role-playing risked prosecution under laws meant to prevent actual torture. Now, the choking porn ban raises the same spectre: once you criminalise depictions of one act, what’s next? Will biting, slapping, or hair-pulling be next on the list? Who decides what “violence” looks like when it’s simulated and consensual? And can algorithms, regulators, or police even tell the difference? Porn producers fear a digital witch hunt, where any rough or BDSM content risks takedown — even when all parties consented and no harm occurred.

The Problem With Porn Being Our "Teacher"

Critics of the ban acknowledge that mainstream porn has normalised aggression, especially towards women, without teaching consent or safety. We, at the Couples Sex Quiz, argue banning images doesn’t change behaviour; education does! By pushing choking porn underground or offshore, the government may actually make it harder to talk openly about it. The UK, as a nation, already avoids sex talk like the plague, a trend we're actively trying to U-turn! Instead of seeing how to do it safely (with negotiation, aftercare, and boundaries), people will turn to more extreme, unregulated sources that show none of that.

Kink as Scapegoat

Some sex-positive commentators argue that kink has become the convenient scapegoat for cultural discomfort with violence. It’s easier to target porn than to confront why so many people eroticise dominance and submission in the first place. And for queer, trans, and kink communities, there’s fear this law will once again conflate consensual BDSM with abuse - a confusion activists have fought for decades to undo! What starts as a “ban on choking porn” could end up squeezing down a range of consensual expressions, especially those outside the vanilla norm. The government's actions is, to some... kink shaming. As a tool that celebrates kinks of all forms, we can't help but feel that there are better alternatives the government could pursue instead.

The Porn Paradox

There’s also an irony critics love to highlight: the UK won’t ban porn that objectifies women, promotes unrealistic bodies, or celebrates male dominance, but it will criminalise depictions of women who choose to express submission under controlled conditions. In other words, simulated dominance is banned, but systemic dominance is business as usual. The state SHOULD NOT legislate erotic imagination. So why should it shape what’s visible, searchable, and monetisable. And when you restrict visibility, you risk erasing legitimate expressions of sexuality, especially for people exploring their power dynamics, trauma recovery, or identities through kink. Or is this the start of a wider crack down on porn altogether? New photo ID proof laws to access porn were only introduced recently. What's next? No more porn at all?

What Does This Ban Mean for Consensual BDSM & Kink?

Consensual vs. Coerced - The Critical Distinction

Consent must be informed and explicit. Just because something is shown in a porn video, doesn’t mean it’s safe or consensual in practice. Power, context, trust, and aftercare are central to safe BDSM. Something that’s fine in fantasy might not be safe in reality, and you should always check with your partner before, during, and after. The ban does not necessarily stop consenting adults from exploring extreme practices in private - only the distribution of content depicting choking for sexual arousal. Hopefully the government increases the amount of safe sex advice and guidance they provide, so that consenting adults that would like to try it can refer to safe choking guidelines.

Risks of Strangulation

• According to experts, even light pressure to the neck can reduce blood flow or oxygen, leading to brain injury, loss of consciousness, or strokes. So any and all choking should be done with safety in mind.
• Repeated strangulation can leave lasting effects on memory and cognition.
• It can trigger PTSD, anxiety, and trauma - especially for those with abuse histories.
• Victims often report they were choked “too hard”, which is why communication during sex is crucial!

How to Explore Kinks (Safely) in Light of the Ban

1. Use the Ban as a Reminder

Even if a certain act might soon be illegal to show in a nudy vid, it doesn’t mean it’s magically safe or advisable. Treat it with suspicion and care!

2. Start with Self-Reflection

Ask yourself why you're drawn to this kink or fantasy? What emotional or power dynamics are you seeking? Do you feel safe asking a partner or enforcing boundaries?

3. Talk with Your Partner

Do this in a calm, no-pressure environment (read our other blog on excellent sex chats). Use open-ended questions, such as:

• “What kind of rough or dominant/submissive dynamics do you imagine or fantasise about?”
• “Are there lines you’d never cross?”
• “How comfortable are you with breathplay, light choking, pressure, or control?”

4. Use Checkpoints & Safewords

Start with consent check-ins, not surprise climaxes. Use safewords (e.g. red/green/amber) or safe signals. Let physical cues (like a tight squeeze, or a forced cough) be automatic stop zones. And when in doubt, stop and check in!

5. Educate Yourself Together

Read reputable BDSM safety guides, watch trusted kink educators, and never rely only on porn to teach you how to do something safely (there's a reason they're trying to regulate it...).

6. Take It Slow, Test, Adjust

If you try gentle pressure around the neck (or whatever your kink is), begin gradually. Always monitor reactions. Stop immediately if anything feels off. Use aftercare to reconnect emotionally and physically.

7. Revisit Consent Often

Especially when trying new things, revisit boundaries continuously. Desires shift. Trust deepens over time. So does the need for checking in.

Why a Couples Sex Quiz Can Endorse Safe Sex

When fantasies and boundaries get murky, one simple but powerful tool is a couples sex quiz - a structured way to: 1. Discover mutual interests 2. Surface hidden boundaries 3. Open safe conversations 5. Avoid assumptions that “my partner wants what I want” 6. Map out a roadmap of what you might try (or definitely avoid) To make that concrete, we built a sex quiz for couples that includes kinks, rough sex, choking, dominance, consent, and a lot more. It’s designed not to shame any desire, but to help you map your landscape together, so you can have better, safer, and more respectful sex. You'll be left with two individualised reports that show you where you overlap, where you diverge, and how you might safely explore new things without needing porn as a misguided teacher.